Travis is out with a friend today who lives in Oregon and doesn't often come to the area. They started the day with a game of golf and plan on having dinner together and hanging out. I am thrilled for him but this will be one of the first full day mothering alone since my discharge from the hospital. If I am being totally honest, I was nervous. I have relied so heavily on Travis and his strength and parenting and cooking and help . . . but happy he had a day to recharge his much depleted batteries.
So . . . that left the girls and I to our own devices today. I attempted to start the day with a positive attitude and though we've had rocky moments and minor arguments that have needed negotiation, overall we're doing quite well.
Earlier in the week, we went to the library as a family as we all like to read and picked up a few family movies as well. Today we decided to watch Pollyanna . . . the sweet Disney film about a young orphan brought to a small town to live with her wealthy and detached Aunt Polly. I remember this being one of my favorites as a girl and it was so fun watching it through the eyes of my daughters - experiencing it almost as the first time. Through her positive attitude, kindness and friendship of those around her Pollyanna transforms the whole town. Since I was little, I have been an optimist - glass half full kind of girl . . . I have noticed of late however, that real life, chronic illness, bills out my ears, appointments etc. have dissipated my eternal optimistic point of view. The movie today reminded me of just how many things I have to be glad about and I thought I'd share a few . . .
1. For the reassurance of a God who loves me, created me, and will never leave me to face anything alone.
2. For a husband who lives out our wedding vows everyday.
3. For two beautiful daughters who are healthy and sweet and incredibly adaptable.
4. For a network of friends who love me in spite of myself.
5. For parents who are willing to jump in the ring with us.
6. For in-laws who love and treat me like their own.
7. For surprise and random cards of encouragement that show up in my mail box.
8. For text messaging that allows me to communicate during a neb treatment.
9. For DVR that allows me to fast forward all the annoying commercials (ok - not as important as the previous but still makes me happy!!!)
10. For a big cup of coffee in the AM with vanilla creamer
11. For an old friend that introduced me to blogging, continues to send her love and encouragement and even mentions me in her blog . . . I feel almost famous!!
12. For the talent to crochet blankets and scarves and bags and hats giving me something to do and accomplish and give as gifts
13. For my elementary school teachers and parents who fostered a love of reading . . . what would I do without books?
14. For a meal delivered by good friends for no reason or prompting except that they were thinking of us (grubbin food Peter!!!)
15. For family pictures to look at and retell the story of and remember great days and incredible memories . .
I could go on all day - which is an incredible statement to make when the last few weeks have felt pretty crummy and I've gotten stuck in the stress wheel . . . I'm realizing as I type the need to raise my head up and focus on the good things . . . there are so many things to be thankful for - and not in a hokey pokey "look at the bright side - there's a reason for everything" - because sometimes the hand you are dealt just stinks - but honest to goodness look around you and be thankful. Note to self (and anyone listening out there) - be glad - it's contagious and sure makes you feel better about the day.
Now I'm off to attempt to rebuild my culinary skills starting with gourmet Kraft macaroni and cheese . . . have to begin somewhere right?!
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Making a Memory
Yesterday we put aside the doctors and the medicine and the stress and went to the movie. We took our girls to see Nanny McPhee Returns. Aside from the sticker shock of paying for the whole family to see a show, it was an incredible experience.
We loved the original movie and were thrilled to see the trailer for a new one. Aside from a silly belching bird, there was nothing rude or offensive or over the top (in my opinion). We laughed outloud, ate popcorn and had a great time. . . take your family to see this silly, adorable movie and make a memory - for us we couldn't put a price tag on family fun.
We loved the original movie and were thrilled to see the trailer for a new one. Aside from a silly belching bird, there was nothing rude or offensive or over the top (in my opinion). We laughed outloud, ate popcorn and had a great time. . . take your family to see this silly, adorable movie and make a memory - for us we couldn't put a price tag on family fun.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
One more thing . . .
I forgot to mention the wonderful surprise of a card and a bag of peanut butter m&m's on my porch when I got home from Doctors today . . . a sweet friend of mine knows the true meaning of life - that sometimes the only thing you need is some grubbin chocolate!!
Frustrating Doctors and Fluffy Reads
Today I went to my third doctors appointment this week since being discharged from the hospital on Monday. I am tired of Doctors. I have a fabulous team working on me from head to toe but the longer I am Doctored the more I realize, at a certain point, you have to be your own doctor. You live in your body and understand it more than a whole team of Doctors. It gets very frustrating to call or visit a Doctor looking for more advice or a new plan and they offer you the same routine that you've already tried or are trying currently and it makes me grumpy.
So what is one supposed to do with this load of frustration when you have no choice at this moment? You can sit around and stew, you can stand outside and scream or you can find other outlets. One thing I still love to do when I'm cooped up and laid up with asthma is crochet. I find it very therapeutic to do something productive with my hands. I am currently working on the handles of a bag for a sweet friend with a big journey ahead of her . . . it's not an answer to all of life's problems but may bring a smile to her face and paired with the right inspirational book, might be a bright spot in a tough place.
So what is one supposed to do with this load of frustration when you have no choice at this moment? You can sit around and stew, you can stand outside and scream or you can find other outlets. One thing I still love to do when I'm cooped up and laid up with asthma is crochet. I find it very therapeutic to do something productive with my hands. I am currently working on the handles of a bag for a sweet friend with a big journey ahead of her . . . it's not an answer to all of life's problems but may bring a smile to her face and paired with the right inspirational book, might be a bright spot in a tough place.
The picture doesn't show the hours spent on tiny stitches . . . and as I stitched, I prayed for and thought of my sweet friend . . . hoping for full recovery and peace through her difficult journey. I'm anxious to finish the handles tonight to get it in the mail tomorrow for her.
I'm also spending time reading . . . and although I am a big fan of reading inspirational things and helpful things, sometimes you just need to read some fluff. I found what I was looking for in "The Private Thoughts of Amelia E Rye." It is a story of friendship told through the musings of a fourth grade girl (this would make a great read for your preteen/teen too . . . you could both read it then talk about the issues brought up such as race, poverty, family dynamics and finding your way through the world as a young girl.) It was a fast read and funny to boot . . .
I am so thankful for this blog . . . a place to vent and rant and inspire and share and dump and be filled up with feedback and support and find a place to journal with a purpose . . . with the purpose of sharing my life and the struggles and joys of finding my way through the world . . . thanks for reading and following and praying and caring . . .
Monday, August 16, 2010
Home again . . . or the Story of the Baby Birds
I am typing this blog from my own home . . . finally got a break in the asthma yesterday and have avoided neb treatments all day today! (The first time in at least three weeks!!) I have an appointment with my pulmo Dr. tomorrow but glad to be home . . .
When I was first admitted into the hospital last Thursday I noticed a nest full of baby birds settled right outside my window. Their eyes were closed, they hardly made a sound and hardly had a feather. As the days progressed, they began to open their eyes and take notice of their world around them. They began to chirp loudly and their momma began to bring them food - delivered right into their little open mouths. Then they began to get even braver and even stronger. Covered in feathers now, they began to stretch their wings and stand on the edge of their next taking in the world around them. Yesterday, they took flight. They took the biggest step in their lives so far. They knew it was going to be bumpy with a big learning curve but they were ready to give it a try.
What symbolism of my last week and a half. When I arrived at the hospital, I was in pretty bad shape and had my eyes closed much of the time. As the week progressed, I opened my eyes and was able to accept treatment given to me by a knowledgeable and wonderful staff . . . then I began to walk the halls - stretch my wings - until today . . . when I took that big, bumpy, scary step and flew the nest . . . left the safety net of the doctors and nurses and oxygen tubes and vital signs and hand holding.
I'm on the offense right now - my illness is stable. But I know, as I'm learning about chronic illness more everyday, that there will be bumps ahead - wind storms, predators, getting lost as a baby bird - but I can do it. I have an amazing network of family and friends and doctors cheering for my flight in the big wide world and I am thankful . . .
When I was first admitted into the hospital last Thursday I noticed a nest full of baby birds settled right outside my window. Their eyes were closed, they hardly made a sound and hardly had a feather. As the days progressed, they began to open their eyes and take notice of their world around them. They began to chirp loudly and their momma began to bring them food - delivered right into their little open mouths. Then they began to get even braver and even stronger. Covered in feathers now, they began to stretch their wings and stand on the edge of their next taking in the world around them. Yesterday, they took flight. They took the biggest step in their lives so far. They knew it was going to be bumpy with a big learning curve but they were ready to give it a try.
What symbolism of my last week and a half. When I arrived at the hospital, I was in pretty bad shape and had my eyes closed much of the time. As the week progressed, I opened my eyes and was able to accept treatment given to me by a knowledgeable and wonderful staff . . . then I began to walk the halls - stretch my wings - until today . . . when I took that big, bumpy, scary step and flew the nest . . . left the safety net of the doctors and nurses and oxygen tubes and vital signs and hand holding.
I'm on the offense right now - my illness is stable. But I know, as I'm learning about chronic illness more everyday, that there will be bumps ahead - wind storms, predators, getting lost as a baby bird - but I can do it. I have an amazing network of family and friends and doctors cheering for my flight in the big wide world and I am thankful . . .
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Another Book
Health update - crummy. My asthma just won't break and aside from the uncomfortable side effects and shortness of breath, I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. Still in the hospital . . . still no visitors allowed . . . still crocheting and still reading books.
Just finished a book called "Maybe a Miracle" by Brian Strause. It's a work of fiction about a young girl that goes into a coma after falling in the pool and nearly drowning. One of the characters has a severe case of potty mouth but the concept of the story is interesting. It's a tale of family dynamics, hope, community, faith, and tenacity - all qualities I need to continue to grow within myself.
I won't ruin the ending in case you want to read it but I found some interesting thought points throughout the story. It made me realize how much I miss having a book club and I'm determined to start one upon my release . . . everyone needs something to look forward to and what could be better than fun snacks and drinks and laughter and conversation about the shared experience of reading the same book? Maybe you're interested in joining my book club? Maybe you have an idea for the first book we read? How about a name for the group of reading gals?
Ok - off to another glorious breathing treatment and the beginning of a new book.
Just finished a book called "Maybe a Miracle" by Brian Strause. It's a work of fiction about a young girl that goes into a coma after falling in the pool and nearly drowning. One of the characters has a severe case of potty mouth but the concept of the story is interesting. It's a tale of family dynamics, hope, community, faith, and tenacity - all qualities I need to continue to grow within myself.
I won't ruin the ending in case you want to read it but I found some interesting thought points throughout the story. It made me realize how much I miss having a book club and I'm determined to start one upon my release . . . everyone needs something to look forward to and what could be better than fun snacks and drinks and laughter and conversation about the shared experience of reading the same book? Maybe you're interested in joining my book club? Maybe you have an idea for the first book we read? How about a name for the group of reading gals?
Ok - off to another glorious breathing treatment and the beginning of a new book.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Movie Night
Travis came back to visit me tonight with another movie called "The Ghost Writer." It starred Ewin McGregor and Pierce Broslin and was about a British prime minister whom no one liked and the biography he was writing by using a ghost writer.
It was slow to start, slow to progress and slow to finish - with a quite unsatisfying ending . . . you can watch it and decide for yourself but have a lot of coffee close by or you'll be asleep before the opening credits.
It was slow to start, slow to progress and slow to finish - with a quite unsatisfying ending . . . you can watch it and decide for yourself but have a lot of coffee close by or you'll be asleep before the opening credits.
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