And no, Mandy, I don't have a "turkey roasting pan" nor do I feel like running to the store for one . . . I have an idea - I'll just jam the sucker into a baking dish and cook the crude out of it . . .
After Mandy laughed at me some more and advised me on removing the "insides" . . . I was ready to cook . . .
And yet, somehow, by the sheer grace of God, when the timer went off, the turkey looked awesome . . . and cooked . . . and "roasted looking" . . . now, if only Mandy stayed long enough to tell me how to cut it?! (and no word yet on how it tastes?!) . . . thanks Mandy for your laughter, friendship and advice and sorry honey for my lack of skills in the Martha Stewart cooking department!